Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Her War Her Voice


Her War Her Voice supports our Soldiers, Marines, Airmen and Sailors by supporting their loved ones. They asked for new bloggers and I am one of them! So from a newbie 68W Army National Guard wife, this is what I wrote back at the beginning of May and they will be publishing it soon.
Most of my time while my husband was away at basic training was spent writing letters and taking care of our daughter. I was so overwhelmed after he first left, but I would NOT let myself cry. I had the mentality (from reading it EVERYWHERE) that I was supposed to be Army strong now, and I was pretty sure that meant no crying and especially no complaining because didn't we sign up for this? Didn't we know going into it that it would be hard? I was terrified to even whine in the slightest bit for fear that someone would voice those very words to me. I took pictures and videos, I waited for 30 second phone calls that never came, I wrote lengthy and supportive letters, I cleaned, I changed diapers, I paid bills, I planned our daughter's one-year old birthday party, I talked to other Army spouses and tried to be uplifting to them even when I was the one that needed uplifted, I did everything in my power to be the Army wife and mother I thought I should be. I met a few other military spouses online and began talking to them and realized very quickly that...hey, we're human. Being in the military doesn't all of a sudden make you this powerful Stepford Wifeish supermom. It just means that you are willing to do what it takes and that somehow you will find that courage along the way...most likely that courage will come from another military spouse pushing you on when they are having a good day, then you can return the favor to them when they need a push in the right direction. My husband is in AIT now and won't be returning until the end of August, but I know now that it is OKAY to have a bad day. It's okay to cry. It's okay to be human. It's a GOOD thing that I miss him so much and this time away will only make our reunion that much sweeter.

38 days!!




It's hard to believe it, but in 38 days we will finally have James back home! He's been gone for 170 days today. We were able to go visit him for the 4th of July weekend. It was the first time he had seen Charlie since April and also the first time he saw her walk!! We went to the San Antonio Zoo while we were down there and just really enjoyed every moment together. Charlie is growing by leaps and bounds and is constantly amazing me with how smart she is. She is very curious and loves to figure out how things work. I love teaching her new things!! Charlie and I will be moving back down to Oklahoma at the beginning of August (with some help!) and I am really looking forward to having all of my own things back. We have really enjoyed spending time with family in Kansas. It's been so nice to just drive 30 minutes to visit my grandparents whenever I want. We'll miss everyone in Kansas but we can't wait to get James back for sure.